thirtyoneblog

I never used to think I had wanderlust. I liked being at home, where things were familiar. But it seems the more I travel, the more I want to see everything that God has created.

I’m on vacation at the beach, and as it always does, the beach gives me a tremendous feeling of relaxation. I just stare out over the water and all the problems I left behind seem so much smaller. I don’t know why that is, but it soothes me. And I’m not even a real beach person. I don’t lie in the sun all day. But I love to walk on the beach in the morning and at night, and watch the waves.

And I want to see so much more. I want to see the mountains and the ocean. I want to see the leaves turning in the Northeast, and the desert of the Southwest. I want to see Australia and Russia. I want to see Rome, Prague, Madrid, Amsterdam. I want to see Argentina. I want to go all over Canada. There’s seemingly no end, really, to the places I want to go. God created them all with unique beauty and if I could take a year or two off and just travel to places unseen, I would do it.

I travel a lot for work, and I know some people consider that a burden, but to me it’s a great blessing. I get to see all kinds of places that I wouldn’t otherwise have traveled to. Now, some of them are not garden spots and wouldn’t have been my first choice, but all that means is that I’m broadening my horizons even more. I’ve traveled to upstate New York, San Jose, Detroit, Connecticut, Cleveland, someplace remote in Kansas, Phoenix, and plenty of other places that I might not have chosen on a vacation, but which I was glad to have gotten to see. And some of them were really great. I liked upstate NY so much that I’m planning a whole week’s vacation around the Finger Lakes area. Who knew?

I’m so amused by a story I’ve been reading in the news this morning. Yesterday, all the Dallas area Starbucks stores (or, evidently all the nationwide Starbucks) closed for 3 hours in the evening to have barista training. Apparently they think more help is needed in knowing how to steam milk and pour syrups. Whatever, I don’t drink coffee anyway.

But apparently there was a huge outcry of frustration at these closings. You’d think people’s electricity had been turned off. Instead, they were furious at not being able to buy an overpriced cup of (some say) inferior coffee for a whole three hours.

“The only place you can get a decent cup of coffee in Dallas is at Starbucks,” one woman said. Eh? Like I said, I’m no coffee drinker, but in a metropolitan area like this, you’ll have me believe there is *no* other acceptable cup of java? I’ve heard plenty of people complain about Starbucks. Some say they overroast the beans and the coffee tastes burned. And heaven knows, it costs about three times what it’s worth.

And hey, I’m no Starbucks hater. I know they’re ridiculously trendy, and pricey, and have driven a lot of small independent coffee shops right out of business. But that doesn’t stop me from picking up a chai latte now and then. I just don’t understand people that are so addicted to Starbucks that a three hour hiatus is akin to some kind of national emergency.

In addition to new gym members out the wazoo, January also brings the delightful season of the Walmart-esque tax preparers and their maddening TV commercials:

“Honey, I’m stuck.” “Well, ask for help.” “Can’t. We used a box. Box? Can you help me?”

H&R Block. We got people.

My personal opinion is, if someone’s taxes are simple enough that H&R Block can handle them, they are simple enough for even the village idiot to handle using TurboTax. Places like this drive me crazy because they fill their offices with employees who don’t know the first thing about taxes. I know this because I have known people who worked there, part time, who didn’t know any more about taxes than my dog knows. Not that those people weren’t intelligent. They were smart cookies. But they weren’t tax professionals. It was strictly a seasonal, hourly gig because they needed to pay the rent.

In addition to deceiving people into thinking they had real tax professionals preparing their taxes, these tax places also shop delightful extras like refund anticipation loans, which of course carry an interest rate akin to what you might find at a payday loan shop, or perhaps from a back-alley loan shark. Who in their right mind would do this? Of course, it’s my professional opinion that tax refund ought to be near zero, because why would anyone let the IRS borrow their money interest-free for a year when they could be getting it at the time it was earned via a larger paycheck? Why do people set their W-4’s to ensure they get thousands back in April, a year late? You don’t want to get me started on this, because it would be a whole post unto itself.

The point of this post is that apparently the IRS is trying to crack down on these practices which IMO border on unethical. The Washington Post had an interesting article on this today.

The Internal Revenue Service said it may try to prevent tax preparers such as Jackson Hewitt Tax Service and H&R Block from offering customers refund loans and audit insurance because those products can encourage fraud.

You think? I shudder to think how much of the government’s money (ahem, MY money) is lost to people who get instant refunds or, worse, loans against refunds which turn out to be bogus. And that’s just the consumer fraud. How much potential fraud is there in the companies that do this? According to the article, it’s estimated that last year taxpayers paid over $1 billion in RAL fees to tax prep services. In some cases the interest rate is upwards of 100 percent. That is just unconscionable.

I love the quote from Jackson Hewitt’s CEO: “Jackson Hewitt firmly believes in the taxpayer’s right to control their tax return information through a written consent process” Translation: We’re abdicating all responsibility.

And from H&R Block, whose spokesman said that employees don’t get commission on RALs, therefore “there is no incentive for them other than serving taxpayers’ best interests.”

Uh-huh. Because paying triple digit interest rates to borrow money that would be yours in as little as 10 days is definitely in a person’s best interest.

I’m interested to see how this plays out. These tax shops have a lot of lobbyists out there, but in the end, the IRS tends to do what it darn well pleases.

Ah yes, early January. The time of year when the gym suddenly becomes the place to be. All those “loseweightNOW!” new year’s resolutions are showing up in droves. I went to work out last night and there was hardly a treadmill to spare. A month ago you could fire a cannon down the middle of the building.

Which brings me to some observations I have made lately. It seems that everyone who is really into their workout routine is convinced without a doubt that their way is THE way. Not that being into what you’re doing is wrong; it’s just amusing to see the types of folks that exercise creates.

First you have the gym rats. The guys (and girls) who spend 2 hours in there pumping iron. They’re deadly serious. And convinced that nothing else will do for you what lifting will. At my gym orientation a while back I spent an hour with one of these people. Classes? Yeah, whatever, if you’re bored you can go to pilates or something. Cardio? Pfft, that only works one part of your body, and by the way do you know how wrong the calorie counters on those machines are? But free weights, that’s where it’s at. If you do this then you will burn more calories than you can imagine just sitting still, thanks to all the lean muscle you’re building. It’s all true, of course. I actually am finding myself lifting more than I ever have in the past.

Then you have the runners. Actually many of these types don’t care to go to the gym at all. They’d rather simply find a trail or sidewalk in the neighborhood and just take off. They can go for miles and miles. I actually envy these people because I wish I liked running more. In point of fact I hate it. I do about 20 minutes on the treadmill (and much of that is walking), then I’ve had all I can stand. It bores me to tears, TV or no TV, iPod or no iPod. But the benefit to your heart can’t be denied. The runners couldn’t care less about the social aspect of working out. They have no use for classes, and certainly no use for weights. They just put on their shoes and go for it, wherever they happen to be.

Then you have the yoga worshipers. They can go on and on about the strength you build and the muscles you tone, just from these classes. They’d never dream of doing running or weights; in fact many of them go to strictly yoga studios that have nothing else, rather than a more all-around gym. I think they probably have a point, though I’ve never been to yoga. I probably will try it just for something different, now and then. I recall a funny scene from that movie The Next Best Thing, with Madonna and Benjamin Bratt, where he wanders into her yoga studio looking for a “real” gym, and gets talked into staying for the beginner’s class, and is in some incredible pain by the time it ends. Not to mention, I do think there’s a lot of stress relief involved, and who can’t use that.

And all those people think they’re right and that’s the only place to be. It’s amusing when you think about it. Actually it’s a good thing we have so many choices. Maybe that way I’ll actually stick with it. Because I’m none of the above people. I’m just someone trying to stay motivated, and to me that means mixing it up and doing something different all the time.

Thought it might be appropriate to note some goals for next year on this New Year’s Eve. I prefer to call them “goals,” not “resolutions.” Not sure why; well, maybe I am, goals is what they are. I may post from time to time on where I am in relation to these. Interestingly, after I drafted these I realized there are 8 of them. So, 8 for ‘08!

1. Keep up my routine at the gym. I’ve started working with a trainer, plus DH and I often go together and he enjoys it too, so between those I have a good amount of accountability. Plus I like this gym. People are really friendly and it’s a better facility than what I have belonged to before.

2. Read my Bible through. Yesterday at church they had some brochures with daily readings. It’s interesting because it’s not just starting at Genesis and going all the way through. It moves around, but has specific readings listed for each day. This will be a big commitment but I really want to do it.

3. Take a real vacation. We haven’t gone anywhere for a solid week since our honeymoon. We have taken some long weekends but never set aside a significant block of time for a family vacation.

4. Get another car. I have wanted to replace my piece o’ junk for a few years now, but since it’s paid for I am loath to take on another car payment. However, with a 50 mile a day commute, I really need something better than my current aluminum can, aka Kia Spectra, and we need a better family car.

5. Get a housekeeper. Life is just too short with two very full-time jobs to spend the evenings and weekends with a mop. The money spent will be worth it in terms of the time we get back in our lives and frankly, neither of us is good at house cleaning and a professional will do a much better job than we could anyway.

6. Be more committed to excellence at my job. I have been in a real funk the last several weeks for a variety of reasons and I don’t feel like I have put my best out there. Much of the frustration is justifiable, I think, but I need to realize there’s a limit to what you can change about some things. You have to just deal, make the best of it, and move on. In this business, things change so fast anyway that I need to focus on that and the fact that no difficult situation can last forever. I have prayed a lot about this - about the wisdom to know what is changeable and what is not, and when to make a stink about something and when to shut up, and how to move above the frustrations and focus on the actual task at hand.

7. Be more committed to doing things for my husband without thinking about what he might have done for me. Marriage is about giving and I need to focus on that as my goal, rather than complaining about what I am not getting. Just really thinking of him more and myself less.

8. Remember people’s birthdays. I used to be really good at sending cards, etc. and wishing people a good day but I have slacked off the last several years.

I think if I focus on these things I will be on track to have a much better year to come.

Like most of us, I’m resigned to a winter (and possibly spring and beyond) of very little new TV. That’s OK, really. I don’t watch much “regular” TV, preferring the Food Network and TLC to most of network TV. And hey, this might be a good opportunity to spend more evenings at the gym rather than as a couch potato.

Nevertheless, I know it’s affecting a lot of lives. My thoughts on this issue intrigue me, because normally I think striking is just plain ridiculous in any form. It’s antagonistic at the very time that people ought to be trying to work together. It’s digging in your heels and saying, “so, how do you like THEM apples???” Furthermore, it adversely affects a lot of people who aren’t involved and want no part of the disagreement - as I have experienced on a very personal level as a passenger during several airline strikes. In this case, it’s all the non-writers who have anything to do with TV production. Sure, the actors (the stars, anyway) probably aren’t going to go hungry. But what about the set builders? The makeup people? The countless assistants and runners and helpers? Those people have families to feed and roofs to keep over their heads and they have to sit on their hands while the writers are making their point.

All that being said, I do have to say that I am more sympathetic to the writers’ point than just about any other group in recent memory who has decided to walk off the job. If they get paid when the networks air reruns on TV, they ought to similarly get paid when the networks make reruns available online or on DVD. So I’m in a quandry. I think striking stinks, but then again, I think the writers absolutely should get what they’re asking for.

I suspect they will cave, though. There are too many unscripted show opportunities these days. I don’t watch any “reality” TV (the looseness with which this term is used amuses me greatly) but there are enough of those shows out there to keep the networks afloat. Wonder what ideas they will come up with next? Amazing how necessity is the mother of invention.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue on with my Ace of Cakes and What Not to Wear.

I haven’t blogged here much lately, partly because I’ve spent a lot of time at my other blog for recipes. Nevertheless, there has been a lot on my mind.

I have been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Since we are all human, we all are imperfect and thus, have various faults and qualities that can get on others’ nerves. Sometimes it’s easy to notice those things in our good friends who we associate with often. It’s easy to dwell on how so-and-so can’t stop going on about his/her pets (that would be me!) or how that person spends way too much time at work (also me!). Why do we do this? We keep going down that road and before long we wonder why we are even friends with some people.

I’ll tell you why: Because they’re there for us. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter about the little things. I have some friends who are as close to me as family. I would walk through fire for them, and they for me. I think that’s why the little things annoy us. It’s because these people are close to us just like our spouse, or parents or siblings. When you have a close relationship with someone, you’re going to notice everything, the good and bad. But in the end, what matters is what is important.

Tracy Lawrence recorded a great song along those lines earlier this year. When things get tough, you find out who your friends are, and you treasure them as some of God’s greatest blessings.

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This ain’t where the road comes to an end
This ain’t where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

I read a great book this past week, It’s All About Him by Denise Jackson. You probably know her better as the wife of country music star Alan Jackson. I heard about this book on the radio and they were talking about how the title of the book probably leads some to believe the book is Denise’s thoughts on her husband. It isn’t. Well, it sort of is, but she’s not saying “it’s all about Alan.” She’s saying, “It’s all about Jesus.” When I heard that, I decided this would be an interesting read for sure.

This book is an interesting glimpse into the life of a fairly private celebrity couple, but more than that, it’s a great lesson about marriage that can apply to anyone, whether they are famous or not. The Jacksons met in high school, married at 19 and 21, and had three children while he was building his career. They were believers, but like so many others, Jesus was more or less on the back burner. They were focused on their lives and making them better, and got way too wrapped up in that and each other and their children.

After 18 years of marriage, they separated. She says that it had a lot to do with her outlook. She was totally wrapped up in her husband and his career. She made few if any decisions on her own, did very little that he wasn’t involved with, and most of all, neglected her spiritual walk. Then with her husband gone, she felt at first like there was nothing left. That was when she turned back to prayer and Bible study and fellowship with other believers. That was when she experienced a rebirth like no other. She says that she would never choose to go through what they went through again, but having experienced it was an enormous blessing because it brought her focus back where it belonged. After they reconciled, they kept a much better balance with Jesus first and spouse after that.

I think many of us struggle with this. Many wives, whether they are strong independent women or meek and mild ones, focus on the husband as the all-important relationship. We get so wrapped up in our marriages and what might make them better that it’s too easy to neglect the most important relationship of all. We could all use a step back to regroup and remember what’s really important. Marriages are incredibly important, but they are second to our spiritual walk, or they ought to be at any rate.

There’s a lesson in this book for every wife, whether she’s famous or the girl next door.

Ah yes, the age-old question. Is working at an office harder than staying at home, or easier? And why? I have to wonder why we even have these conversations. It’s not an argument that can be won, since both jobs are completely different. It’s apples and oranges. And why would you want to “win”? Aren’t we better off appreciating our own jobs for what they are, both pros and cons, and being happy we made the right decision? Presumably people WOH because they want to, and SAH because they want to (generally speaking). So what’s the point?

There was a discussion about this in another forum that I frequent. I’ll repost my comments here:

I don’t think you can say either job is harder. Each one has its difficulties, its rewards, its ups and downs. Each one is hard in its own way, and has advantages over the other in its own way.

I really think it’s impossible to say whose job is harder because they are simply so different. There’s no way to compare. And you know, I think that’s the way it ought to be approached. No good comes of a spitting contest about whose job is harder in a marriage.

Unfortunately, it is in fact true that many WOHPs don’t see the SAH job for what it is, and don’t appreciate how difficult it is until they have to do it (I find this mostly true of men, but it could go either way, since more and more men are choosing to SAH, a trend I find refreshing). But the opposite is also true. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I love my job. If I didn’t, I’d find another option (options, of course, also include staying home). I would hope the same would be said of most of us.

So I was reading in the newspaper that Southwestern Seminary had requested that Sheri Klouda’s lawsuit against the school be dismissed, and their motion was denied yesterday. I think that judge did the right thing.

This whole issue fascinates me, and for reasons having very little to do with Baptist theology. In case you have been under a rock (or more likely, in case you have had better things to do than follow this whole saga), Sheri Klouda taught Hebrew at Southwestern until last year. At that time, she was dismissed because the new administration believed that her position was in direct contradiction to their interpretation of Scripture. Notice I said “their interpretation.” They think, as do most fundamantal Baptists, that women should not teach men in matters of theology. Whether that is right or not, I’ll save for another conversation. I have some other beefs with the whole matter.

She was hired by the same school that fired her. Why would they hire her to a tenure-track position only to dismiss her later? Am I to believe that Baptists under Paige Patterson all of a sudden believe something different than they did in 2002? Southwestern has always been very fundamentalist, very old-school Baptist. Patterson is the grandaddy of all fundamentalists, but at the same time I hardly think that he turned the seminary on its ear. Why did this all of a sudden become an issue with only one possible solution?

She came to the school to accept a well-paying, tenured position as a professor of Hebrew. Her husband is disabled and unable to work. That means she’s the breadwinner. She took this job intending on its supporting her family. They bought a house in the DFW area, a nice house commensurate with her salary. Nothing wrong with that; I don’t think that seminary professors (or pastors, or anyone else related to the ministry) must take a vow of poverty. She was fired without any severance, or any help financially. She now has a different job in a different city, to which they moved. They can’t sell the first house. Her family is in financial crisis, all because of this. That, people, is just wrong. How Christian is that, to turn your back on someone that way?

I also have to wonder that, even if in fact God intended for women not to teach men the Bible, how teaching Hebrew constitutes teaching the Bible. Hebrew is a language, not theology. It’s related in some ways, yes, but I don’t think it’s the same thing. Sheri Klouda was teaching a language, not teaching her interpretation of God’s word. That’s sort of a digression, but I have pondered this for a while now.

I would love to read the transcript of that hearing. From what I have been able to gather, the seminary made every argument under the sun for the dismissal, including separation of church and state. I fail to see the connection.

I’ll probably continue to follow this issue and see what becomes of it. People need to be held accountable. You have to pay the fiddler if you want to dance.