thirtyoneblog

Ah yes, the age-old question. Is working at an office harder than staying at home, or easier? And why? I have to wonder why we even have these conversations. It’s not an argument that can be won, since both jobs are completely different. It’s apples and oranges. And why would you want to “win”? Aren’t we better off appreciating our own jobs for what they are, both pros and cons, and being happy we made the right decision? Presumably people WOH because they want to, and SAH because they want to (generally speaking). So what’s the point?

There was a discussion about this in another forum that I frequent. I’ll repost my comments here:

I don’t think you can say either job is harder. Each one has its difficulties, its rewards, its ups and downs. Each one is hard in its own way, and has advantages over the other in its own way.

I really think it’s impossible to say whose job is harder because they are simply so different. There’s no way to compare. And you know, I think that’s the way it ought to be approached. No good comes of a spitting contest about whose job is harder in a marriage.

Unfortunately, it is in fact true that many WOHPs don’t see the SAH job for what it is, and don’t appreciate how difficult it is until they have to do it (I find this mostly true of men, but it could go either way, since more and more men are choosing to SAH, a trend I find refreshing). But the opposite is also true. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I love my job. If I didn’t, I’d find another option (options, of course, also include staying home). I would hope the same would be said of most of us.

So I was reading in the newspaper that Southwestern Seminary had requested that Sheri Klouda’s lawsuit against the school be dismissed, and their motion was denied yesterday. I think that judge did the right thing.

This whole issue fascinates me, and for reasons having very little to do with Baptist theology. In case you have been under a rock (or more likely, in case you have had better things to do than follow this whole saga), Sheri Klouda taught Hebrew at Southwestern until last year. At that time, she was dismissed because the new administration believed that her position was in direct contradiction to their interpretation of Scripture. Notice I said “their interpretation.” They think, as do most fundamantal Baptists, that women should not teach men in matters of theology. Whether that is right or not, I’ll save for another conversation. I have some other beefs with the whole matter.

She was hired by the same school that fired her. Why would they hire her to a tenure-track position only to dismiss her later? Am I to believe that Baptists under Paige Patterson all of a sudden believe something different than they did in 2002? Southwestern has always been very fundamentalist, very old-school Baptist. Patterson is the grandaddy of all fundamentalists, but at the same time I hardly think that he turned the seminary on its ear. Why did this all of a sudden become an issue with only one possible solution?

She came to the school to accept a well-paying, tenured position as a professor of Hebrew. Her husband is disabled and unable to work. That means she’s the breadwinner. She took this job intending on its supporting her family. They bought a house in the DFW area, a nice house commensurate with her salary. Nothing wrong with that; I don’t think that seminary professors (or pastors, or anyone else related to the ministry) must take a vow of poverty. She was fired without any severance, or any help financially. She now has a different job in a different city, to which they moved. They can’t sell the first house. Her family is in financial crisis, all because of this. That, people, is just wrong. How Christian is that, to turn your back on someone that way?

I also have to wonder that, even if in fact God intended for women not to teach men the Bible, how teaching Hebrew constitutes teaching the Bible. Hebrew is a language, not theology. It’s related in some ways, yes, but I don’t think it’s the same thing. Sheri Klouda was teaching a language, not teaching her interpretation of God’s word. That’s sort of a digression, but I have pondered this for a while now.

I would love to read the transcript of that hearing. From what I have been able to gather, the seminary made every argument under the sun for the dismissal, including separation of church and state. I fail to see the connection.

I’ll probably continue to follow this issue and see what becomes of it. People need to be held accountable. You have to pay the fiddler if you want to dance.

I’m a bit of a funk today. Had a nice weekend, a good and productive day yesterday, enjoyed dinner and time at home after work, and got to bed at a decent hour. But today, even though it’s not a bad day, is still one for being in a funk.

First, as we all know it’s the 6th anniversary of the Sept 11 attacks and since it is a Tuesday today, the same day it happened, that’s a little unsettling. I’ve been thinking about that a lot and it doesn’t seem possible that 6 years have passed.

Then at work today, someone forwarded me an email with a news story about a co-worker of mine in Canada. He went to the river for some water sports on Saturday but never showed up to meet his wife for dinner afterwards. Then on Sunday someone found his jet-ski abandoned in the river, and his usual life jacket was at his house (so, they assume he wasn’t wearing one Saturday). The police have been searching for him for two days and called it off this morning. While a miracle is always possible, I’m fairly sure he’s gone. He was 44, had a family, was a terrific co-worker, and it ends like this? I’ve been in a funk over that all day.

And I heard this song and it just made me want to cry. How true this is. Don’t blink.

Don’t blink, just like that you’re six years old and you take a nap
Wake up and you’re 25, and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife.
Don’t blink, you just might miss your babies growing like mine did.
Turning into moms and dads, next thing you know, your better half
Of 50 years is there in bed, and you’re praying God takes you instead.
Trust me now, 100 years goes faster than you think.
Don’t blink.

All I want to do is go home and hug my sweet husband a little tighter, and be thankful we have what we have.

I’m different than a lot of girls. I don’t like shopping. I love sports. I’m good with a hammer and screwdriver. And I can’t even pretend to be interested in scrapbooking.

Sometimes I wonder how much of that is me, and how much of that is just me wanting to be different.

Because I like being different. I don’t want to be predictable. Don’t want to do what people might assume or expect just because of my gender. I like the idea that women can be a lot of things, and most of those aren’t what people would think. I like surprising people by the fact that I can carry a couple of weeks’ worth of clothes on an airplane, while most people would expect a girl to overpack to the extreme. I like shopping at Home Depot and knowing what the heck I’m doing. I like being included in the poker game (yes, this has happened). But even though I like and thrive on being different, when I think about it I don’t think that’s my reason for it. It just is.

I was talking to someone at church today, and she mentioned she remembered our big screen TV from last year’s Super Bowl party, and asked if Jason was enjoying watching football on it these days. (Don’t ask me how our TV came up in the conversation. This girl tends to ask you very random things). I said, no, as a matter of fact he doesn’t care about football at all, but that I was a huge fan. She laughed like that was the oddest thing ever mentioned. I was almost annoyed. Since when can’t a girl like football?

I’ll admit I was bugged by a women’s dinner at church awhile back, where the dinner was an assortment of salads. I wanted to ask, where’s the chicken fried steak? I mean, I like salads and all, but why do people think that’s all that women want to eat? Can you imagine if they served those same salads at the men’s dinner? I have to chuckle just thinking about it.

I think that all of us are precious individuals, and while there are certain roles that are God-intended to be separated by gender, I think there are way too many stereotypes out there, within the church and out.

So come watch the football game with me. Let’s get the girls together for some Texas Hold ‘Em. And I’ll bring some hot wings.

I think a fundamental misunderstanding about women striving to live by Biblical principles is that they have to somehow be very much the same. As in, their lives should look the same. It’s so funny when you stop and think about different women that you admire for their dedication to God, family, work and life, how you admire them for different reasons.

There’s my lovely sister-in-law, who is one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met and who manages to brighten up every room she enters. She stays home with her two beautiful kids and keeps them happy and entertained and takes care of their home. She has a fairly traditional role, as Christian women go, and yet has the same viewpoint as I do in that women should be appreciated for their individual contributions and not judged by those who might choose a different path. It’s very refreshing to talk with her about these issues because though our lives look different in many ways, our foundation is solidly on the same page.

There’s my friend Laura who, along with her husband, has an escalating career that she enjoys. They both work outside the home, and yet it is obvious how happy and well adjusted their daughter is. Laura is a fabulous cook and leaves work every day to make a great dinner for their family (and their daughter eats what they eat, which amazes me - no mac and cheese or fish sticks in that house!). Her husband was recently moved to London and she did not hesitate to move their family there, because it was a great opportunity for his career. It took some time and some understanding bosses to make her career work out there as well, but she considered it well worth the effort. Their children (they have #2 on the way) will grow up having lived in another country and learning that there is a lot of culture and many great experiences to be had outside the U.S.

There’s my cousin who has worked on and off while raising her 5 children, and is currently homeschooling the school-aged ones while caring for the younger ones at the same time. Their family is involved in ministries and missions and is very close, not only with their nuclear family but with our large extended family as well.

There’s our friend from church who has two children and a successful career as a partner in a local law firm. Her husband is a teacher, and stayed home with their oldest child for nearly her first two years of life. (This, by the way, is another example of how I think dads don’t get nearly enough credit in the “traditional” Christian family model). They too are a happy family because they worked out their lives and routines in the way that made the most sense for them as unique people, while at the same time remaining committed what is really important as Christians.

I would say, for all these women, their worth is far above jewels.