thirtyoneblog

Ah yes, early January. The time of year when the gym suddenly becomes the place to be. All those “loseweightNOW!” new year’s resolutions are showing up in droves. I went to work out last night and there was hardly a treadmill to spare. A month ago you could fire a cannon down the middle of the building.

Which brings me to some observations I have made lately. It seems that everyone who is really into their workout routine is convinced without a doubt that their way is THE way. Not that being into what you’re doing is wrong; it’s just amusing to see the types of folks that exercise creates.

First you have the gym rats. The guys (and girls) who spend 2 hours in there pumping iron. They’re deadly serious. And convinced that nothing else will do for you what lifting will. At my gym orientation a while back I spent an hour with one of these people. Classes? Yeah, whatever, if you’re bored you can go to pilates or something. Cardio? Pfft, that only works one part of your body, and by the way do you know how wrong the calorie counters on those machines are? But free weights, that’s where it’s at. If you do this then you will burn more calories than you can imagine just sitting still, thanks to all the lean muscle you’re building. It’s all true, of course. I actually am finding myself lifting more than I ever have in the past.

Then you have the runners. Actually many of these types don’t care to go to the gym at all. They’d rather simply find a trail or sidewalk in the neighborhood and just take off. They can go for miles and miles. I actually envy these people because I wish I liked running more. In point of fact I hate it. I do about 20 minutes on the treadmill (and much of that is walking), then I’ve had all I can stand. It bores me to tears, TV or no TV, iPod or no iPod. But the benefit to your heart can’t be denied. The runners couldn’t care less about the social aspect of working out. They have no use for classes, and certainly no use for weights. They just put on their shoes and go for it, wherever they happen to be.

Then you have the yoga worshipers. They can go on and on about the strength you build and the muscles you tone, just from these classes. They’d never dream of doing running or weights; in fact many of them go to strictly yoga studios that have nothing else, rather than a more all-around gym. I think they probably have a point, though I’ve never been to yoga. I probably will try it just for something different, now and then. I recall a funny scene from that movie The Next Best Thing, with Madonna and Benjamin Bratt, where he wanders into her yoga studio looking for a “real” gym, and gets talked into staying for the beginner’s class, and is in some incredible pain by the time it ends. Not to mention, I do think there’s a lot of stress relief involved, and who can’t use that.

And all those people think they’re right and that’s the only place to be. It’s amusing when you think about it. Actually it’s a good thing we have so many choices. Maybe that way I’ll actually stick with it. Because I’m none of the above people. I’m just someone trying to stay motivated, and to me that means mixing it up and doing something different all the time.

Thought it might be appropriate to note some goals for next year on this New Year’s Eve. I prefer to call them “goals,” not “resolutions.” Not sure why; well, maybe I am, goals is what they are. I may post from time to time on where I am in relation to these. Interestingly, after I drafted these I realized there are 8 of them. So, 8 for ’08!

1. Keep up my routine at the gym. I’ve started working with a trainer, plus DH and I often go together and he enjoys it too, so between those I have a good amount of accountability. Plus I like this gym. People are really friendly and it’s a better facility than what I have belonged to before.

2. Read my Bible through. Yesterday at church they had some brochures with daily readings. It’s interesting because it’s not just starting at Genesis and going all the way through. It moves around, but has specific readings listed for each day. This will be a big commitment but I really want to do it.

3. Take a real vacation. We haven’t gone anywhere for a solid week since our honeymoon. We have taken some long weekends but never set aside a significant block of time for a family vacation.

4. Get another car. I have wanted to replace my piece o’ junk for a few years now, but since it’s paid for I am loath to take on another car payment. However, with a 50 mile a day commute, I really need something better than my current aluminum can, aka Kia Spectra, and we need a better family car.

5. Get a housekeeper. Life is just too short with two very full-time jobs to spend the evenings and weekends with a mop. The money spent will be worth it in terms of the time we get back in our lives and frankly, neither of us is good at house cleaning and a professional will do a much better job than we could anyway.

6. Be more committed to excellence at my job. I have been in a real funk the last several weeks for a variety of reasons and I don’t feel like I have put my best out there. Much of the frustration is justifiable, I think, but I need to realize there’s a limit to what you can change about some things. You have to just deal, make the best of it, and move on. In this business, things change so fast anyway that I need to focus on that and the fact that no difficult situation can last forever. I have prayed a lot about this – about the wisdom to know what is changeable and what is not, and when to make a stink about something and when to shut up, and how to move above the frustrations and focus on the actual task at hand.

7. Be more committed to doing things for my husband without thinking about what he might have done for me. Marriage is about giving and I need to focus on that as my goal, rather than complaining about what I am not getting. Just really thinking of him more and myself less.

8. Remember people’s birthdays. I used to be really good at sending cards, etc. and wishing people a good day but I have slacked off the last several years.

I think if I focus on these things I will be on track to have a much better year to come.

Like most of us, I’m resigned to a winter (and possibly spring and beyond) of very little new TV. That’s OK, really. I don’t watch much “regular” TV, preferring the Food Network and TLC to most of network TV. And hey, this might be a good opportunity to spend more evenings at the gym rather than as a couch potato.

Nevertheless, I know it’s affecting a lot of lives. My thoughts on this issue intrigue me, because normally I think striking is just plain ridiculous in any form. It’s antagonistic at the very time that people ought to be trying to work together. It’s digging in your heels and saying, “so, how do you like THEM apples???” Furthermore, it adversely affects a lot of people who aren’t involved and want no part of the disagreement – as I have experienced on a very personal level as a passenger during several airline strikes. In this case, it’s all the non-writers who have anything to do with TV production. Sure, the actors (the stars, anyway) probably aren’t going to go hungry. But what about the set builders? The makeup people? The countless assistants and runners and helpers? Those people have families to feed and roofs to keep over their heads and they have to sit on their hands while the writers are making their point.

All that being said, I do have to say that I am more sympathetic to the writers’ point than just about any other group in recent memory who has decided to walk off the job. If they get paid when the networks air reruns on TV, they ought to similarly get paid when the networks make reruns available online or on DVD. So I’m in a quandry. I think striking stinks, but then again, I think the writers absolutely should get what they’re asking for.

I suspect they will cave, though. There are too many unscripted show opportunities these days. I don’t watch any “reality” TV (the looseness with which this term is used amuses me greatly) but there are enough of those shows out there to keep the networks afloat. Wonder what ideas they will come up with next? Amazing how necessity is the mother of invention.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue on with my Ace of Cakes and What Not to Wear.

I haven’t blogged here much lately, partly because I’ve spent a lot of time at my other blog for recipes. Nevertheless, there has been a lot on my mind.

I have been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Since we are all human, we all are imperfect and thus, have various faults and qualities that can get on others’ nerves. Sometimes it’s easy to notice those things in our good friends who we associate with often. It’s easy to dwell on how so-and-so can’t stop going on about his/her pets (that would be me!) or how that person spends way too much time at work (also me!). Why do we do this? We keep going down that road and before long we wonder why we are even friends with some people.

I’ll tell you why: Because they’re there for us. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter about the little things. I have some friends who are as close to me as family. I would walk through fire for them, and they for me. I think that’s why the little things annoy us. It’s because these people are close to us just like our spouse, or parents or siblings. When you have a close relationship with someone, you’re going to notice everything, the good and bad. But in the end, what matters is what is important.

Tracy Lawrence recorded a great song along those lines earlier this year. When things get tough, you find out who your friends are, and you treasure them as some of God’s greatest blessings.

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This ain’t where the road comes to an end
This ain’t where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off

I read a great book this past week, It’s All About Him by Denise Jackson. You probably know her better as the wife of country music star Alan Jackson. I heard about this book on the radio and they were talking about how the title of the book probably leads some to believe the book is Denise’s thoughts on her husband. It isn’t. Well, it sort of is, but she’s not saying “it’s all about Alan.” She’s saying, “It’s all about Jesus.” When I heard that, I decided this would be an interesting read for sure.

This book is an interesting glimpse into the life of a fairly private celebrity couple, but more than that, it’s a great lesson about marriage that can apply to anyone, whether they are famous or not. The Jacksons met in high school, married at 19 and 21, and had three children while he was building his career. They were believers, but like so many others, Jesus was more or less on the back burner. They were focused on their lives and making them better, and got way too wrapped up in that and each other and their children.

After 18 years of marriage, they separated. She says that it had a lot to do with her outlook. She was totally wrapped up in her husband and his career. She made few if any decisions on her own, did very little that he wasn’t involved with, and most of all, neglected her spiritual walk. Then with her husband gone, she felt at first like there was nothing left. That was when she turned back to prayer and Bible study and fellowship with other believers. That was when she experienced a rebirth like no other. She says that she would never choose to go through what they went through again, but having experienced it was an enormous blessing because it brought her focus back where it belonged. After they reconciled, they kept a much better balance with Jesus first and spouse after that.

I think many of us struggle with this. Many wives, whether they are strong independent women or meek and mild ones, focus on the husband as the all-important relationship. We get so wrapped up in our marriages and what might make them better that it’s too easy to neglect the most important relationship of all. We could all use a step back to regroup and remember what’s really important. Marriages are incredibly important, but they are second to our spiritual walk, or they ought to be at any rate.

There’s a lesson in this book for every wife, whether she’s famous or the girl next door.

Ah yes, the age-old question. Is working at an office harder than staying at home, or easier? And why? I have to wonder why we even have these conversations. It’s not an argument that can be won, since both jobs are completely different. It’s apples and oranges. And why would you want to “win”? Aren’t we better off appreciating our own jobs for what they are, both pros and cons, and being happy we made the right decision? Presumably people WOH because they want to, and SAH because they want to (generally speaking). So what’s the point?

There was a discussion about this in another forum that I frequent. I’ll repost my comments here:

I don’t think you can say either job is harder. Each one has its difficulties, its rewards, its ups and downs. Each one is hard in its own way, and has advantages over the other in its own way.

I really think it’s impossible to say whose job is harder because they are simply so different. There’s no way to compare. And you know, I think that’s the way it ought to be approached. No good comes of a spitting contest about whose job is harder in a marriage.

Unfortunately, it is in fact true that many WOHPs don’t see the SAH job for what it is, and don’t appreciate how difficult it is until they have to do it (I find this mostly true of men, but it could go either way, since more and more men are choosing to SAH, a trend I find refreshing). But the opposite is also true. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I love my job. If I didn’t, I’d find another option (options, of course, also include staying home). I would hope the same would be said of most of us.

So I was reading in the newspaper that Southwestern Seminary had requested that Sheri Klouda’s lawsuit against the school be dismissed, and their motion was denied yesterday. I think that judge did the right thing.

This whole issue fascinates me, and for reasons having very little to do with Baptist theology. In case you have been under a rock (or more likely, in case you have had better things to do than follow this whole saga), Sheri Klouda taught Hebrew at Southwestern until last year. At that time, she was dismissed because the new administration believed that her position was in direct contradiction to their interpretation of Scripture. Notice I said “their interpretation.” They think, as do most fundamantal Baptists, that women should not teach men in matters of theology. Whether that is right or not, I’ll save for another conversation. I have some other beefs with the whole matter.

She was hired by the same school that fired her. Why would they hire her to a tenure-track position only to dismiss her later? Am I to believe that Baptists under Paige Patterson all of a sudden believe something different than they did in 2002? Southwestern has always been very fundamentalist, very old-school Baptist. Patterson is the grandaddy of all fundamentalists, but at the same time I hardly think that he turned the seminary on its ear. Why did this all of a sudden become an issue with only one possible solution?

She came to the school to accept a well-paying, tenured position as a professor of Hebrew. Her husband is disabled and unable to work. That means she’s the breadwinner. She took this job intending on its supporting her family. They bought a house in the DFW area, a nice house commensurate with her salary. Nothing wrong with that; I don’t think that seminary professors (or pastors, or anyone else related to the ministry) must take a vow of poverty. She was fired without any severance, or any help financially. She now has a different job in a different city, to which they moved. They can’t sell the first house. Her family is in financial crisis, all because of this. That, people, is just wrong. How Christian is that, to turn your back on someone that way?

I also have to wonder that, even if in fact God intended for women not to teach men the Bible, how teaching Hebrew constitutes teaching the Bible. Hebrew is a language, not theology. It’s related in some ways, yes, but I don’t think it’s the same thing. Sheri Klouda was teaching a language, not teaching her interpretation of God’s word. That’s sort of a digression, but I have pondered this for a while now.

I would love to read the transcript of that hearing. From what I have been able to gather, the seminary made every argument under the sun for the dismissal, including separation of church and state. I fail to see the connection.

I’ll probably continue to follow this issue and see what becomes of it. People need to be held accountable. You have to pay the fiddler if you want to dance.

I’m a bit of a funk today. Had a nice weekend, a good and productive day yesterday, enjoyed dinner and time at home after work, and got to bed at a decent hour. But today, even though it’s not a bad day, is still one for being in a funk.

First, as we all know it’s the 6th anniversary of the Sept 11 attacks and since it is a Tuesday today, the same day it happened, that’s a little unsettling. I’ve been thinking about that a lot and it doesn’t seem possible that 6 years have passed.

Then at work today, someone forwarded me an email with a news story about a co-worker of mine in Canada. He went to the river for some water sports on Saturday but never showed up to meet his wife for dinner afterwards. Then on Sunday someone found his jet-ski abandoned in the river, and his usual life jacket was at his house (so, they assume he wasn’t wearing one Saturday). The police have been searching for him for two days and called it off this morning. While a miracle is always possible, I’m fairly sure he’s gone. He was 44, had a family, was a terrific co-worker, and it ends like this? I’ve been in a funk over that all day.

And I heard this song and it just made me want to cry. How true this is. Don’t blink.

Don’t blink, just like that you’re six years old and you take a nap
Wake up and you’re 25, and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife.
Don’t blink, you just might miss your babies growing like mine did.
Turning into moms and dads, next thing you know, your better half
Of 50 years is there in bed, and you’re praying God takes you instead.
Trust me now, 100 years goes faster than you think.
Don’t blink.

All I want to do is go home and hug my sweet husband a little tighter, and be thankful we have what we have.

I’m different than a lot of girls. I don’t like shopping. I love sports. I’m good with a hammer and screwdriver. And I can’t even pretend to be interested in scrapbooking.

Sometimes I wonder how much of that is me, and how much of that is just me wanting to be different.

Because I like being different. I don’t want to be predictable. Don’t want to do what people might assume or expect just because of my gender. I like the idea that women can be a lot of things, and most of those aren’t what people would think. I like surprising people by the fact that I can carry a couple of weeks’ worth of clothes on an airplane, while most people would expect a girl to overpack to the extreme. I like shopping at Home Depot and knowing what the heck I’m doing. I like being included in the poker game (yes, this has happened). But even though I like and thrive on being different, when I think about it I don’t think that’s my reason for it. It just is.

I was talking to someone at church today, and she mentioned she remembered our big screen TV from last year’s Super Bowl party, and asked if Jason was enjoying watching football on it these days. (Don’t ask me how our TV came up in the conversation. This girl tends to ask you very random things). I said, no, as a matter of fact he doesn’t care about football at all, but that I was a huge fan. She laughed like that was the oddest thing ever mentioned. I was almost annoyed. Since when can’t a girl like football?

I’ll admit I was bugged by a women’s dinner at church awhile back, where the dinner was an assortment of salads. I wanted to ask, where’s the chicken fried steak? I mean, I like salads and all, but why do people think that’s all that women want to eat? Can you imagine if they served those same salads at the men’s dinner? I have to chuckle just thinking about it.

I think that all of us are precious individuals, and while there are certain roles that are God-intended to be separated by gender, I think there are way too many stereotypes out there, within the church and out.

So come watch the football game with me. Let’s get the girls together for some Texas Hold ‘Em. And I’ll bring some hot wings.

I think a fundamental misunderstanding about women striving to live by Biblical principles is that they have to somehow be very much the same. As in, their lives should look the same. It’s so funny when you stop and think about different women that you admire for their dedication to God, family, work and life, how you admire them for different reasons.

There’s my lovely sister-in-law, who is one of the most delightful people I’ve ever met and who manages to brighten up every room she enters. She stays home with her two beautiful kids and keeps them happy and entertained and takes care of their home. She has a fairly traditional role, as Christian women go, and yet has the same viewpoint as I do in that women should be appreciated for their individual contributions and not judged by those who might choose a different path. It’s very refreshing to talk with her about these issues because though our lives look different in many ways, our foundation is solidly on the same page.

There’s my friend Laura who, along with her husband, has an escalating career that she enjoys. They both work outside the home, and yet it is obvious how happy and well adjusted their daughter is. Laura is a fabulous cook and leaves work every day to make a great dinner for their family (and their daughter eats what they eat, which amazes me – no mac and cheese or fish sticks in that house!). Her husband was recently moved to London and she did not hesitate to move their family there, because it was a great opportunity for his career. It took some time and some understanding bosses to make her career work out there as well, but she considered it well worth the effort. Their children (they have #2 on the way) will grow up having lived in another country and learning that there is a lot of culture and many great experiences to be had outside the U.S.

There’s my cousin who has worked on and off while raising her 5 children, and is currently homeschooling the school-aged ones while caring for the younger ones at the same time. Their family is involved in ministries and missions and is very close, not only with their nuclear family but with our large extended family as well.

There’s our friend from church who has two children and a successful career as a partner in a local law firm. Her husband is a teacher, and stayed home with their oldest child for nearly her first two years of life. (This, by the way, is another example of how I think dads don’t get nearly enough credit in the “traditional” Christian family model). They too are a happy family because they worked out their lives and routines in the way that made the most sense for them as unique people, while at the same time remaining committed what is really important as Christians.

I would say, for all these women, their worth is far above jewels.